The last time I checked, the clock still had 24 hours, each of those hours had 60 minutes, and each of those minutes had 60 seconds. 86,400 separate ticks per day. No more allotted, unless, of course you happen to believe in time travel, quantum mechanics, or other Sci-Fi staples.
So, when you accidentally engage in an activity, any activity that wastes those slim clicks, they are gone forever. You can't get them back, ever. You've wasted them. Don't misunderstand this, time wasting is a time honored tradition. Big Brother is still on the air. This is different. You did not waste time on purpose, you were duped into it and you long for some form of redemption - some cosmic payback where the next event, or series of events make up for the serious time mismanagement transgression.
Ah, but what?
I had such a moment, or 115 minutes of them to be exact. I Netflixed the movie, The Box. The premise was intriguing. This is from the official press release:
A small wooden box arrives on the doorstep of a married couple,
who know that opening it will grant them a million dollars and kill
someone they don't know.
As premise goes, a moral dilemma is a great way to start a movie, and the flick does start off strong, Frank Langella shows up to deliver said box, and, with an unexplained facial deformity, is appropriately creepy. Box recipients and movie spouses Carmen Diaz and James Marsden are appropriately conflicted, and the whole '70s time scape harbingers interesting possibilities.
Then the proverbial wheels don't just wobble, they fall completely off.
The movie poses several plausible, by Sci-Fi standards, reasons for odd delivery guy Frank Langella to select Diaz and Marsden, Is Langella an alien? Our collective moral compass? God? Beelzebub? Who knows? The movie never resolves anything, except, surprise, surprise, Diaz has to die, and Marsden has to kill her to save their son from eternal deafness and blindness. Confused? Don't be. And don't bother watching the movie to try to figure it out. Did you notice that I did not bother to link to the movie, or use any of the character names? I don't want anyone to see this movie. This movie was a complete waste of my time and,
I WANT MY 115 MINUTES BACK!
Now for the redemption part. I started on a positive path to scrub all traces of this movie from my memory bank. I have started to read all of the Hugo Award Winners, roughly in order (well, as much as possible, given that my local library's collection is limited). So far, I've read,
- Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein
- A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller, Jr
- Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein
Now its up to you.
I'd love to hear your suggestions about redemption for the heinous act of time wasting I've committed. I'll follow the best suggestions and report back here.
I'm also interested in learning about your time transgressions, perhaps I can help you.
Oh, and for clever folks out there, I'll beat you to the punch: redemption for reading I Want My 115 Minutes Back will be posting your other unfortunate time wasters.
